Andy Grammer's album "Magazines or Novels" - a Musician and His Morals

Andy Grammer saved me in the summer of 2011 when I graduated from college and was desperately looking for a meaningful job with my B.A. in American Studies. I remember it as a desperate faith-trying time and his first single “Keep Your Head Up” had just come out. Every time I heard it on the radio, I felt a little more optimistic and less anxious. Look up the lyrics, you’ll see what I mean.

I started listening to his other songs and found that his positive hopeful lyrics, singable melodies, and catchy grooves really resonated with me. I was super excited to finally see him in concert at Irving Plaza in June 2014. I realized Andy Grammer is not just a talented singer/songwriter/keyboardist/guitarist and enthralling performer, he’s also an authentic person and devoted husband with a lot of integrity. In addition to all the favorites, he played many songs from his new album. I gained a tremendous respect for not only the way he upholds his personal morals but how he can share them in a nonjudgmental, non-preachy way through infectiously fun songs.

Thank goodness I only had to wait a month after the concert for his new album, Magazines or Novels, to come out. And I love it so much that I have to blog about it. But I want to focus on 2 songs that especially impressed me because they stand for morals that are so often abandoned and even mocked today. Plus both are super fun to sing along to :)

***Disclaimer: I try to avoid songs with profanity and crudeness but I believe the merits and messages of these songs are worth promoting.

Honey, I’m Good

Condensed lyrics (pardon some language):

It’s been a long night here, and a long night there

And these long long legs and da** they’re everywhere

You look good, I will not lie

But if you ask where I’m staying tonight

I gotta be like oh baby, no baby, you got me all wrong baby

My baby’s already got all of my love

[Chorus]

So nah nah Honey, I’m good

I could have another but I probably should not

I’ve got somebody at home, and if I stay I might not leave alone

No, honey, I’m good

I could have another but I probably should not

I’ve got to bid you adieu

To another I will stay true

Now better men, than me have failed

Drinking from that unholy grail

I’ve got her, and she got me

And you’ve got that a**, but I kindly gotta be like

Oh baby, no baby, you got me all wrong baby

My baby’s already got all of my love

[Bridge]

Oh, I’m sure ya, sure ya will make somebody’s night

But oh, I assure ya assure ya, it sure as hells not mine

It is from a unique perspective because he directs it to his gorgeous temptress. I think he exemplifies amazing values and principles in it.

Honesty: He admits that he is tempted and he knows he is weak. He doesn’t try to suppress his libido and he can appreciate an attractive female but he does avoid the temptation of staying for another drink. So many times, we fool ourselves into thinking that we can get super close to a temptation and be strong enough to resist, but our willpower is sometimes not able to overpower our hormones or appetites. He knows he’s not superhuman - better men than me have failed. As Jesus warned “Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” (Matthew 26:31)

Self-Control: Peer pressure can make us do all kinds of things we regret (though, of course, there’s positive peer pressure that pushes us to be better). I’m sure he has some friends along with this temptress who are asking him to have another [drink] but he has his limits and sticks to I probably should not. Since I don’t drink alcohol, the equivalent of this to me and other Mormons might be the pressure to have another piece of cake/brownie/pie. It’s hard to say no! Especially when it’s an attractive person asking us to enjoy it with them. As Alma told his son, “I would that ye would be diligent and temperate in all things” (Alma 38:10). It doesn’t mean we can’t have some cake/brownie/pie, it just means we need to know when to stop.

Faithfulness: Andy Grammer married his wife in 2012. He wore his wedding ring and mentioned his beautiful wife Aijia several times during his concert. It’s obvious that she’s already got all of [his] love. I'm not sure what his Baha’i faith and his own values dictate for marriage but he takes his marriage vows seriously. The Bible teaches that “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24) I also love this scripture from D&C 42:22 “Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart, and shalt cleave unto her and none else.” I love that he is trying to do this.

Non-Judgment: My own religious and personal convictions do not condone one night stands and Andy’s doesn’t seem to either, but I admire his respect for anyone else who might choose differently than him. Multiple apostles have recently counseled us to be kind and courteous to those who think, act, or feel differently from us. Apostle Dallin H. Oaks said in his recent General Conference address, “Even as we seek to be meek and to avoid contention, we must not compromise or dilute our commitment to the truths we understand...Though we may disagree, we should not be disagreeable. Our stands and communications on controversial topics should not be contentious. ...we should be persons of goodwill toward all...as followers of Christ we should live peacefully with others who do not share our values.”

Holding Out

Condensed lyrics:

When I met you, love, I hadn't done the dirty yet,

Call me the unicorn, they said that I didn't exist,

Truth is my heart was torn, the v had a couple of rips

But I was still holding on to the edge with my finger tips

[Bridge]

With a little bit of prayer, little bit of porn, sorry,

Couple long nights of sleeping on my own

Waiting for the right one to come along

Waiting for the right one and now I know

[Chorus]

That I was holding out for you

Yeah, I've been holding out for you

And the neighbors, yeah, they're all haters 'cause they say that we go too loud

I've been holding out for you

And a couple times thought I might not make it

Laying on the bed, both of us half naked

Looking in her eyes something in my heart said save it

Here we go again, another awkward conversation

Cupid's secret is love starts before you meet it [3x]

***NOTE: Neither I nor The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints encourage, permit, or condone using pornography for any reason. (See “Pornography”, April 2005)

In this song, he’s talking to his current wife. This is a powerful song. And here are the reasons why it touches me every time I hear it:

Courage: How many pop songs express the sanctity of chastity and sex within marriage? I can’t think of one but I can think of dozens that condone and promote sex outside of marriage. It’s arguable whether Andy Grammer could have published this song successfully if he were just starting out as a professional music artist. But now that he has a respectable following and is touring widely, he has the influence to be bold about his values. Men like him, especially famous men, are rare. People called him a unicorn because outside of my Church, it does seem like they don’t exist. President Thomas S. Monson would have been proud to see him follow his counsel: “May we ever be courageous and prepared to stand for what we believe, and if we must stand alone in the process, may we do so courageously, strengthened by the knowledge that in reality we are never alone when we stand with our Father in Heaven.” (“Dare to Stand Alone”, October 2011)

Sanctity of Sex: Keeping the Law of Chastity is HARD, even for us Mormons who try to keep an eternal view as motivation to keep our covenants and save sex for our spouse only. In somewhat vague and obscured language (probably to shield children), Apostle Boyd K. Packer stated, “Participation in the mating process offers an experience like nothing else in life. When entered into worthily, it combines the most exquisite and exalted physical, emotional, and spiritual feelings associated with the word love. ...The only legitimate employment of the powers of procreation is between husband and wife who have been legally and lawfully married.” (“The Fountain of Life”). In other words, sex is not off limits outside of marriage because it’s bad. Sex is preserved for marriage because it is so good and special. I believe it was the Light of Christ that was the something in [his] heart that said save it.

Patience: Patience is not a passive thing. It takes alot of mental energy and self-discipline to hold out for something as Andy Grammer did. And I believe he did because he knew it would be worth it, that it would be so much more special because he worked and waited for it and now shares it exclusively with his wife. Apostle Jeffrey R. Holland said, “In matters of human intimacy, you must wait! You must wait until you can give everything, and you cannot give everything until you are legally and lawfully married.” (“Personal Purity”, October 1998).

I’m so grateful for good music. Enjoy the rest of his album :)

My Religion is a Benefit, Not a Barrier

If you're applying to NYU's master's program in Counseling for Mental Health and Wellness for 2014, you will need to write an essay in addition to your personal statement.

Describe a characteristic or issue of your own that could present a challenge in your work as a counselor. Explain how you address that challenge to become a more effective counselor. 

This was my response in full (2 pages, double spaced):

I Am Such a Cliché

There comes a time when we realize we are not unique - that we are actually quite typical.

Through talking to my young single adult peers and contemplating various blogs, articles, books, songs, movies, and TV shows, I have come to the realization that I am SUCH a product of my generation. There are many names – Generation Me, Generation Y, Millennials, etc. – for the group of us born in the 1980s. I am in my mid-20s. I am having a lot of fun and learning a lot. I also feel insecure and vulnerable at times. I realize that almost all my peers are going through the same reality whiplashes of this “defining decade”, our 20s. Allow me to use myself as a case study of The Quarter Life Crisis:

1) Drawn out college years – I stayed in my undergraduate degree for as long as I could (5.5 years) and picked up a minor along the way (though I have enough credits for 3 minors) because I loved the in-between growing stage between high school and adulthood. College is a unique cocoon-like time when we’re allowed to take risks, try new things, make mistakes, and actively find and create ourselves. We have relative independence and not as many responsibilities yet. We could still explore and not be expected to live up to “what we want to be when we grow up”, which can cause great pride or anxiety when posed as a question.

2) Moved across the country – 7 months after graduation, I tried but couldn’t achieve my career goals in my college town, so I moved from the West to a big East Coast city to “chase my dreams” (I had/have many). It has been a big adventure. Sometimes I still stop and think incredulously, “I work and study in the nation’s capital. How did this happen!?” The emotional and social transitions are taking a much longer time to play out than the physical transition.

3) Career crisis – I’ve tried a few options since college graduation and I thought I finally figured out a career path I could be passionate about. It took hard work, trials of faith and tenacity, and a few detours. But now that I’m on this path and confronted with the bleak reality of the job market [in academia], I am trying to figure out how to go back to a former option. Ironically, I want to go into career counseling, to help other people avoid the drawn out, roundabout path I’m currently taking! Though it might seem quaint, I admire those people who have known exactly what they wanted to be from a young age and followed the smooth and straight path to achieve it.

4) Blog(s) – I have 3 (see right sidebar) that serve different themes. We are the first generation to have almost entirely grown up with the internet, which offers an unprecedented forum for sharing our personal thoughts, feelings, travels, pictures, crafts, videos, music, art, etc. Private journals and physical photo albums have given way to shameless public declarations of the minute and monumental moments of our lives through tweets, Facebook statuses, instagram pictures, and blog posts like this one (guilty). We want to be known, we want to be heard, we want to be validated.

5) Compulsive multi-tasker – We feel like we all have ADD because we feel compelled to constantly check our devices and social media (email, texts, Facebook, Twitter, voicemail, etc.). Whether it’s because we’re bored or lonely, our need to always be “in touch” is feeding our FOMO (Fear of Missing Out), the ubiquitous plague of our generation. Because we are more accessible, others expect more of us. There is a vicious cycle in media: messages shortened to fit our diminishing attention spans, which then decreases our opportunities to practice reading longer (more detailed and developed) material. We have a hard time concentrating on one task for very long when it is required. How many distractions did I have had while writing this post?

6) Relationships...yea – Around our mid-20s, our friends and family start to [un]tactfully ask us when we'll get married and have children. The pressure mounts, magnified by social media, with more of our friends getting married. Almost every Mormon young single adult I’ve talked to has said in a tone denoting their simultaneous disbelief and disappointment, “I didn’t expect to still be single at this age”. As a whole, our generation is getting married later in life than any previous generation due to various economic, political, and cultural reasons. Whether that is a deliberate decision or not; we still all yearn for meaningful fulfilling relationships, but either we haven't found the right person yet or we're not ready to commit/settle down. Since the success of romantic relationships is out of our control, we try to focus on ways we can continue to progress and improve ourselves in order to prepare ourselves (not that progress and improvement stop at marriage; quite the opposite really) to attract a suitable [eternal] companion.

Yes, I am a product of my times, but not a victim to it. The cliches of our generation can be used to our advantage or disadvantage. Every generation has its unique challenges and opportunities. I am a dogged optimist so I am determined to thrive, not just survive my 20s. This, too, shall pass. I don’t want to just say I lived through it, I want to be able to say I lived fully IN it.

If I Were a Purse...

Ever since junior high, I've been engaged in learning about myself so I can have a better reference point from which to understand and interact with the world. I've taken countless personality tests, polled my friends, read numerous books & articles, and blogged & journaled as ways of self exploration and expression...but given that I'm only in my mid-20s and constantly changing/growing, I still have a lot to learn!

Recently, I discovered a new way of learning about myself - by the things I buy/own. I try to avoid materialism (Colossians 3:2, Alma 39:14, D&C 6:7) so I don't mean "I am what I buy". I like aesthetically pleasing and good quality things like most people, but I try to use, enjoy, and take care of them without becoming attached to them. What I discovered is: My possessions don't define me, but sometimes they describe me.

Case in point: this purse

I bought it at a Labor Day sale with my $75 Macy's gift card from my boss last Christmas (took 9 months to decide how to spend it wisely). I hate purse shopping because I refuse to spend above $40 and it's hard to find a good quality purse I like with that price limit. So I put it off for as long as I can until my current one wears out, which usually takes 1-2 years, then I buy a new one and toss the old.

I spent about an hour in Macy's trying on dozens of purses, comparing color, price, size, material, etc. I walked out with the most expensive purse I've ever owned (with $1.84 left on my gift card!) and was really unsure whether I would keep it because it is SO different from all my previous purses. Over the next 10 days, it really grew on me! I realized this purse is basically me in accessory form. It describes me perfectly, or at least what I'm striving to be.

Here are the 10 ways:

1) Colorful: I love bright rich (vs. neon or pastel) colors. I feel like my life has exploded in color since I moved to DC (see my DC to the Fullest blog). Life is more vibrant and colorful here than I've experienced in China, Guam, Seattle, or Utah. My closet and bedroom reflect this - bright blocks of color against stabilizing neutrals. I'm very multicultural so 3 colors represent me better than 1.

Also, the inside lining is awesome because it represents the many cultures I am influenced by and want to explore; I feel like I carry them inside me.

2) Nice Lines: Not to say I have nice lines haha, but I always try to create nice lines when I dance and pose for pics. I think my dancer's aesthetic causes me to be drawn to simple graceful lines, angles, and arches. My last purse was more of a blob and the one before that had too many lines; this one has a good balance of clean straight and curved lines.

3) Minimal: I don't like fluff or excessive adornment. I hate clutter. This purse doesn't have anything I don't need. I love glamour and accessories but I only wear 1 or 2 at a time so they stand out and complement instead of distract or overwhelm. I like the idea of being "neat and comely" (Alma 1:27).

4) Genuine: Don't know if you can tell from the pictures but the purse is genuine leather. I didn't know until I checked the tag yesterday so I was pleasantly surprised :) I think this represents me well because I am super straightforward and honest (sometimes to a fault). What you see is what you get. I try to be my real self to everyone because it's exhausting trying to keep up a false image, and people can always tell if you're faking it anyway (like faux leather).

5) On-the-Go: I'm active and I value functionality. I got tired of holding my purse (clutch purses are the worse) and always having to pull up the straps, especially when I'm carrying groceries or taking pictures. With this purse, I can say "Look, Ma! No hands!" Loving it :)

6) Compact: Prioritization is a big theme in my life right now. There are so many things I want to do but time and money seem so scarce. Once again, I'm trying to streamline my life, invest in what really matters (see "Prioritizing 'Things That Matter Most'" post) and fulfills me (2 Nephi 9:51), and cut out the excess (see "The Big Rocks of Life" by Stephen Covey). This is easier said than done but getting a smaller purse lightens the burden on my back, literally ;)

7) Unique: I've seen alot of purses and I've never seen one quite like this one. I've also never met another Linda who is Mormon and biologically Chinese but Latin dances and loves African American culture, among other things. I used to resent being unique, but now I embrace it.

8) Adaptable with Preferences: There are 3 rings on the purse and the strap can hook on 4 different ways, with varying lengths and levels of comfort. I mostly keep the strap at the longest length so I can wear it across my body. This is like me socially. I can adapt to various group sizes and situations for varying lengths of time and levels of comfort, but I mostly prefer meaningful 1-on-1 conversations.

9) Efficient/Creative: See the outside zipped pocket? That's a wallet! How brilliant is that?! So convenient in so many ways. I like to shorten and simplify processes to find the fastest and most effective way to do things. Efficiency often requires creativity and I enjoy those opportunities to be creative. I think this attached wallet is very creative.

10) Structured but Flexible: It's not a loose drawstring bag or a stiff briefcase. I like that this purse looks structured but can be stretched a bit to hold different shapes if needed. I need structure and some routine to my life to be productive but I also try to leave room for a little spontaneity or when something important comes up.

Well that was fun! Looking forward to keep learning about myself, others, and the world around me :)
***
Update: November 27, 2013

Alas, I had to get a new purse because this one was just too small for me. On occasions that I needed my camera, glasses case, or a book to read on the metro, I couldn't fit them in without my purse bulging out or my contents almost falling out. Not safe. So I upgraded to this lovely piece -

Almost the same except
- It has more room
- It's one color (easier to match), which I LOVE
- It doesn't have a built-in wallet so I had to dig my old one out
- It has tiny bit of bling, classy not trashy :)

The Art of Friendship

I’ve learned a lot about God and Jesus Christ’s characters lately. As I have been trying to emulate the Savior like we are commanded to do (Matthew 5:48), I realized that many of His characteristics are the traits of a great friend. I feel my capacity to be a good friend increasing as I strive to become more like Him:

1) He pays attention to each ONE. He blessed the little children one by one (3 Nephi 17:21). He always addresses people individually by their first name (i.e. Exodus 31:2). He makes each person He talks to feel known, valued, and special.

2) He is never in a rush (3 Nephi 17:5). He never makes you feel like you’re taking up too much of His time and He would rather be doing something else.

3) He is a good listener. He empathizes and sympathizes with others. He weeps for those he loves (John 11:35) and compliments or praises them openly when He is proud of them.

4) He serves others. He observes their needs and fulfills them. (i.e. Luke 9:11-17 and John 13:14-16)

5) He believes in each person’s potential and encourages us to reach it (Ether 12:27). He accepts people for their flaws and weaknesses but always tries to help us become better. (John 8:2-11)

6) He forgives (i.e. Luke 7:47).

7) He is no respecter of persons (D&C 38:16). He treats everyone with respect (i.e. Exodus 33:11).

Whenever anyone displays these characteristics towards me, it feels amazing. Whenever I practice these characteristics toward others, I feel God's love for them flow through me more abundantly (1 John 4:7). I've also learned other things about being a good friend by noticing how I would want to be treated by my friends:

8) Keep up with people’s lives and send thoughtful notes of encouragement/comfort when needed. Share my own experiences that relate to theirs. Share good advice I’ve learned.

9) Make an effort to be at their special events and send sincere well wishes if I can’t be there.

10) Introduce them to my other friends I think they would enjoy.

11) Celebrate their accomplishments enthusiastically with them (vs. be jealous or resentful).

12) Always respond to invitations/questions clearly, sincerely, and in a timely manner.

13) Avoid distractions and using electronic gadgets when I’m talking to someone.

14) Never underestimating the power of praying for someone else, and knowing someone else is praying for you (D&C 25:12)

DISCLAIMER: I am far from mastering all these traits of a great friend, but I'm trying, and won't be perfect at it until after this life. In the meantime, here are a couple of dilemmas I’m realizing about friendship:

A. I’m an extremely loyal person and I used to think that if I make a friend, I have a friend for life. But I’ve learned the hard way that most people aren’t like that. There are all levels of friendship and they can all be enjoyed if we appreciate them for what they are. For example: friendly hallway acquaintances; situational friends; instant-click friends; admirable but incompatible friends; longtime casual friends; attractive friends you’ll date; and friends you’ll stay close with no matter how far apart or how long it’s been since you’ve seen each other. And then, of course, there is one eternal friend you will fall in love with and marry and raise a family with and hold closer to your heart than any other friend. The trick is figuring out what kind of friend each person I meet will become.

B. The better of a friend I am and the older I get, the more friends I'll make and keep, and the less time I will have to be the kind of friend I want to be to each friend. Since graduating from college, it has been sad for me to see my friends be more scattered across the country. I'm so thankful for technology that makes it easier to keep in touch with some of them but distance and diverging lives become huge barriers. Basically, it's the same problem we have in every other area of life - finite time and abilities.

Bottom line: I have been more grateful than ever for my friends this year. They are the angels God sends to answer almost every prayer. They nurse me through my heartaches, laugh at my corny jokes, give me good advice, let me vent, bring smiles, create laughter, cheer me on, give me hugs, and warm my heart. Friends, I love you and hope to always be worthy of your friendship as I strive to become more like Jesus Christ, our best and perfect friend.

A Dancer's Dilemma

***I realize the tone/style of this post can seem over-dramatic at times, but that is not my intent. This was a powerful and humbling spiritual experience and I am trying to express it in the most honest way possible :) ***

Tuesday
If I had a holiday, it would be National Dance Day (NDD). I'd been looking forward to it since last year and was eager to learn the hip hop routine (each year, the founders put out 2 dance routines for people all over the country to learn) and dance it at the Kennedy Center festivities on Saturday. I invited some friends to learn it with me at the Church before Institute. When we got there, the sister missionaries were meeting with Lisa (a Chinese grad student at George Washington University who came to our Church on her own a few months ago) to prepare her for her baptism on the upcoming Saturday. One Sister asked me excitedly if I would like to come, to which I made a very uncomfortable hesistant face because it would conflict with the 1-10pm festivities of NDD! Upon seeing my face, she sweetly said "Nevermind, it's ok if you can't". Guilt. Then my friend Ben said I should go talk to Lisa because I speak Chinese. I said I don't know that many gospel terms and he said I knew more than the sister missionaries. More guilt. I said I still feel uncomfortable talking to Chinese investigators because it's awkward for me, and I was also in a rush to get my friends upstairs to learn the routine. So we went upstairs, had a lot of fun learning the routine, and then went to various classes for Institute.

In my class, we discussed Elder Quentin L. Cook's talk "Can You Feel So Now" in which one phrase stuck out to me. It dissuaded giving "first-class devotion to lesser causes". I've been overbooking myself lately and have been trying to figure out how to prioritize activities better. As a class, we identified first class priorities as eternal things, and lesser things as that which have no significance beyond this life. I couldn't stop thinking about the baptism and trying to rationalize my way out of attending it. I certainly wasn't obliged to and I had already made plans! Plus I'd be all the way in DC and didn't have a ride! And I knew the baptism would probably be ill-attended because it was during a Saturday night and at the stake center (somewhat far away).

Yet I knew that this was a test of faith, obedience, and submitting my will to God. I am the only Chinese member in the ward, also a convert, and also attend George Washington University. Out of everyone in the ward, I probably had the most in common with Lisa and she could probably use the support. Dance is a good thing, but was I putting it above spiritual things? I knew as soon as I did that, I would lose a multitude of blessings - ones I enjoy now and other ones the Lord has yet to give me. And I certainly did not want to be in that position, knowing that this was one step away from Christ and one step toward the world. Satan is sneaky and can tempt us away in small degrees (1 Peter 5:8), just as Lehonti was subtly lured off the mountain and killed by degrees of poison (Alma 47:8-19).

So I prayed that night, asking for faith and humility to accept the Lord's will as I asked Him whether He wanted me to go to the baptism. I got a "yes", and that He would also provide a way for me to get there. Besides, I could still catch the last 3 hours of NDD after the baptism. I'm not proud to say that after this prayer, I was still not absolutely sure I would go.

Wednesday
I got a mass email from Rachel (music co-chair) asking for a volunteer to play a musical number at the baptism. Guilt AGAIN. I had resolved several years ago that if there was ever a musical need (specifically piano playing) in the church, I would volunteer my talents because I know they are a gift from God to serve and uplift His children (D&C 82:18) and if I hide my light under a bushel, I would surely lose it (Matthew 25:14-30). Still, I tried to push her email out of my mind, hoping someone else would volunteer. But by the next day and after thinking about it more, I realized it would be outright rebellion to ignore a clear answer I got to my prayer. I've done that before and it was a miserable wrenching repentance process; I would be a fool to put myself through that again, not to mention disappoint the Lord and dampen my capacity to receive future revelation.

Thursday
I responded to Rachel's email asking if she had found somebody. She responded "maybe" and asked if I could play something. I offered to play "Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring", a piece I had played years ago. It was simple and beautiful, and wouldn't need a lot of re-polishing. Rachel responded that it would be fine and told the two other people who had offered that they were off the hook. Well, that was that. I'd cemented my attendance at the baptism and I can't back out now! That night, I posted a request for a ride on the ward listserv.

Friday
No one replied by the afternoon, I thought maybe I was off the hook too! Maybe someone else would jump in with an even better musical number? Maybe the Lord was testing my willingness to serve and sacrifice, and let me loose the last minute like He did with Abraham when he was about to kill his son Isaac for a sacrifice (Genesis 22:1-18)? But it was not to be, because my friend Britt's beach plans fell through and she offered to go to the baptism with me (she has a car). At least now I have a good friend to go with. I stayed on campus an hour after work on Friday to practice in one of the piano rooms. The muscle memory kicked in and I got the piece to performance level after a few play-throughs.

Saturday
I excitedly got ready to go to the Kennedy Center for NDD. I re-read the schedule carefully when I got there and literally mourned that I would have to leave just as the hip hop routine would start in order to catch the metro home and walk to Britt's house to get to the baptism early (in case the musical number was scheduled at the beginning). I'd watched and practiced the hip hop routine dozens of times in preparation for this day. I felt like I wanted to cry, knowing that I'd have to wait a whole year for this holiday to come again. I wondered if there was any way I could leave just 30 minutes later, but I imagined the panic at the baptism when I wouldn't arrive in time to play. I love this Church and this gospel and I remember my baptism day 7 years ago very vividly; there was no way I was going to ruin Lisa's special day. But I felt like the Lord was hitting me where it hurt, so to speak. Then I thought of the early pioneers (it was Pioneer Day 3 days prior) and the much greater sacrifices they were asked to make, and I felt selfish and prideful. Drama Queen moment over. I silently prayed for a miracle to allow me to be able to somehow still see/participate in the hip hop routine. Either way, I was determined to enjoy the time I did have at the Kennedy Center.

Various groups performed and taught mini classes on the outdoor stage, then it was my turn to join Doug and his other students onstage to teach the Broadway Jazz class. (see my Dancing Through DC blog for more pics/details)

It was an amazing experience to be dancing on a stage at my favorite monument in DC, where I'd seen so many other dance/music/theater performances, in front of hundreds of dance lovers. I felt humbled and extremely grateful for the privilege and honor to do so. After we got off stage, I heard that we were ahead of schedule! By about 20 minutes! Maybe there's a chance, I thought...

Then I met up with my friends and we enjoyed a few more dance performances.

I mentioned my disappointment about missing the hip hop routine and one of them offered to give me a ride in his car so I could stay longer - about 25 minutes longer! I got really excited, but also didn't want to get my hopes up. But the time came for the hip hop routine and we got to stay for the whole thing!!! I was in utter disbelief. This was the miracle I had prayed for! We danced along to the routine and it was a ton of fun to see others who had practiced the routine at home also. As soon as it ended, we hurried to the car...just as the clouds dumped a ton of rain on the whole place. As we drove back in the downpour, I was almost speechless with gratitude that the Lord had given me that tender mercy. It might seem small and petty to anyone else. But to me - His dance-loving and sometimes selfish daughter - He knew it was a BFD (big freakin' deal).

My friends Jesse and Jeremy dropped me off at Britt's house and I immediately gushed to her about my little miracle. We got to the baptism early but there were already too many people around to practice my musical number. Yet I felt a sweet peace knowing that despite all my resistance, I was where I should be at that time. I prayed that I would be able to play smoothly with no major mistakes, that the music would be uplifting and help everyone there feel the Spirit even stronger. The time came to play my piece and I made 3 mistakes, but Britt said she didn't hear it so hopefully others didn't either. I felt honored to be a part of Lisa's special day and celebrate the beginning of her beautiful new life in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The event was very well-attended - she was surrounded by loving friends, missionaries, and church leaders.

I mentally relived my baptism, during which everything was so lovingly prepared and I felt the welcoming embrace of so many I knew and didn't know who came to celebrate my special day. I had to wait 14 months to get baptized from the time I first discovered the Church. I remembered the thing I looked forward to the most was receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost because everybody talked about the sweet peace and comfort of always having the Spirit to be with you. I already had those good feelings through the power of the Holy Ghost after I found the Church and could not imagine an even greater increase of them after receiving the permanent gift of the Holy Ghost, as long as I remained worthy to have it.

I'll end this post with a series of gratitudes:

- I'm grateful for my talents of dance and piano, and all the opportunities I've had to improve upon them and use them to serve/uplift others.

- I'm grateful for the Lord's infinite patience with me, and the Spirit's constant reminder of what my top priorities should be.

- I'm grateful for Jesse and Jeremy who decided last minute to drive even though it was more expensive and burdensome to them.

- I'm grateful Britt decided to come to the baptism with me even though she could have been doing any number of fun things.

- I'm grateful for the Lord's desire and ability to bless me in so many different ways even though my heart was hard and I did not want to serve. (1 Corinthians 2:9)

- I'm grateful for every person who knowingly and unknowingly influenced me to make the right decision.

- I'm grateful for everyone who made Lisa's special day possible and for all the non-members who came to witness such a sacred event.

- I'm grateful Lisa took the initiative to investigate the Church and the faith she exercised to join it. Only God knows how many lives Lisa's testimony will touch.

- I'm grateful that through many tender mercies, I was able to find and join this Church, through which literally every blessing of my life flows.

How Are We Even Friends?!

***This post is dedicated to all my friends who seemingly have nothing in common with me but love me anyway.***

Sometimes I'm slow in realizing things everybody else figured out years ago, but the realization ends up changing my life so I feel pretty smart anyway.

Last week, I made the incredible discovery that most of my closest friends have [almost] no common interests with me. Most of them cannot be described as a passionate "dancer, pianist, foodie, singer, American history nerd, old movie buff, and jazz lover" (see sidebar). And I am really bad at, terrified of, or not interested in kayaking, Shakespeare, wakeboarding, canyoneering, skiing, etc. We have different groups of friends. Some of them live far away and I haven't seen them in years! Sometimes we don't talk for months but when I need someone to talk to, they're right there. So what keeps us together??? I've boiled it down to these 2 things:

1) Our love of the Gospel - We view life and the world through Gospel lenses. We turn to the Gospel to solve problems. We share our insights and hard-earned lessons. We share useful scriptures/talks/quotes with each other. We pray for each other. We love the Lord and our Savior and remind each other that They love us too. We are determined to be faithful til the end and help each other to do so. I'm so grateful for friends who are spiritually as well as emotionally and socially strengthening.

2) They care - It really comes down to this. I've met so many people that I think I would get along well with due to common interests, but it feels strained or awkward because they don't really care to get to know me. The ones who become close friends simply CARE about how I'm doing and love me for who I am. They ask how I'm doing and listen intently. Even if they don't understand what I'm going through, they try and they empathize. The give me tough love and throw my own advice back in my face when I need it. They are patient with my weaknesses and insecurities. They believe in me and value our friendship.

Compatible senses of humor help too. I can't completely relax around someone unless we've shared some laughs together.

Case in point, Britt and I met just over a year ago and hit it off. She became my first real friend in DC. We bonded over being "3rd culture kids", our "permanent tourist" zest for life, and our tendency to photographically document everything we do. We were excited to have found someone to go exploring with but quickly started realizing how dramatically different we are with our tastes in music, TV shows, movies, clothes, books, politics, and more. But we got over our little crises and kept hanging out. We learned which topics to avoid haha (i.e. we didn't vote for the same person in the last presidential election). The miracle is...our friendship keeps growing! We had so much fun riding bikes on the Mount Vernon Trail and eating Thai food when we first hit it off that we did the exact same thing to commemorate our "1 Year Friend Anniversary"!

Sometimes I wonder how the heck we're even friends...and then I become flooded with gratitude that we are.