Andy Grammer saved me in the summer of 2011 when I graduated from college and was desperately looking for a meaningful job with my B.A. in American Studies. I remember it as a desperate faith-trying time and his first single “Keep Your Head Up” had just come out. Every time I heard it on the radio, I felt a little more optimistic and less anxious. Look up the lyrics, you’ll see what I mean.
I started listening to his other songs and found that his positive hopeful lyrics, singable melodies, and catchy grooves really resonated with me. I was super excited to finally see him in concert at Irving Plaza in June 2014. I realized Andy Grammer is not just a talented singer/songwriter/keyboardist/guitarist and enthralling performer, he’s also an authentic person and devoted husband with a lot of integrity. In addition to all the favorites, he played many songs from his new album. I gained a tremendous respect for not only the way he upholds his personal morals but how he can share them in a nonjudgmental, non-preachy way through infectiously fun songs.
Thank goodness I only had to wait a month after the concert for his new album, Magazines or Novels, to come out. And I love it so much that I have to blog about it. But I want to focus on 2 songs that especially impressed me because they stand for morals that are so often abandoned and even mocked today. Plus both are super fun to sing along to :)
***Disclaimer: I try to avoid songs with profanity and crudeness but I believe the merits and messages of these songs are worth promoting.
Honey, I’m Good
Condensed lyrics (pardon some language):
It’s been a long night here, and a long night there
And these long long legs and da** they’re everywhere
You look good, I will not lie
But if you ask where I’m staying tonight
I gotta be like oh baby, no baby, you got me all wrong baby
My baby’s already got all of my love
[Chorus]
So nah nah Honey, I’m good
I could have another but I probably should not
I’ve got somebody at home, and if I stay I might not leave alone
No, honey, I’m good
I could have another but I probably should not
I’ve got to bid you adieu
To another I will stay true
Now better men, than me have failed
Drinking from that unholy grail
I’ve got her, and she got me
And you’ve got that a**, but I kindly gotta be like
Oh baby, no baby, you got me all wrong baby
My baby’s already got all of my love
[Bridge]
Oh, I’m sure ya, sure ya will make somebody’s night
But oh, I assure ya assure ya, it sure as hells not mine
It is from a unique perspective because he directs it to his gorgeous temptress. I think he exemplifies amazing values and principles in it.
Honesty: He admits that he is tempted and he knows he is weak. He doesn’t try to suppress his libido and he can appreciate an attractive female but he does avoid the temptation of staying for another drink. So many times, we fool ourselves into thinking that we can get super close to a temptation and be strong enough to resist, but our willpower is sometimes not able to overpower our hormones or appetites. He knows he’s not superhuman - better men than me have failed. As Jesus warned “Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” (Matthew 26:31)
Self-Control: Peer pressure can make us do all kinds of things we regret (though, of course, there’s positive peer pressure that pushes us to be better). I’m sure he has some friends along with this temptress who are asking him to have another [drink] but he has his limits and sticks to I probably should not. Since I don’t drink alcohol, the equivalent of this to me and other Mormons might be the pressure to have another piece of cake/brownie/pie. It’s hard to say no! Especially when it’s an attractive person asking us to enjoy it with them. As Alma told his son, “I would that ye would be diligent and temperate in all things” (Alma 38:10). It doesn’t mean we can’t have some cake/brownie/pie, it just means we need to know when to stop.
Faithfulness: Andy Grammer married his wife in 2012. He wore his wedding ring and mentioned his beautiful wife Aijia several times during his concert. It’s obvious that she’s already got all of [his] love. I'm not sure what his Baha’i faith and his own values dictate for marriage but he takes his marriage vows seriously. The Bible teaches that “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24) I also love this scripture from D&C 42:22 “Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart, and shalt cleave unto her and none else.” I love that he is trying to do this.
Non-Judgment: My own religious and personal convictions do not condone one night stands and Andy’s doesn’t seem to either, but I admire his respect for anyone else who might choose differently than him. Multiple apostles have recently counseled us to be kind and courteous to those who think, act, or feel differently from us. Apostle Dallin H. Oaks said in his recent General Conference address, “Even as we seek to be meek and to avoid contention, we must not compromise or dilute our commitment to the truths we understand...Though we may disagree, we should not be disagreeable. Our stands and communications on controversial topics should not be contentious. ...we should be persons of goodwill toward all...as followers of Christ we should live peacefully with others who do not share our values.”
Holding Out
Condensed lyrics:
When I met you, love, I hadn't done the dirty yet,
Call me the unicorn, they said that I didn't exist,
Truth is my heart was torn, the v had a couple of rips
But I was still holding on to the edge with my finger tips
[Bridge]
With a little bit of prayer, little bit of porn, sorry,
Couple long nights of sleeping on my own
Waiting for the right one to come along
Waiting for the right one and now I know
[Chorus]
That I was holding out for you
Yeah, I've been holding out for you
And the neighbors, yeah, they're all haters 'cause they say that we go too loud
I've been holding out for you
And a couple times thought I might not make it
Laying on the bed, both of us half naked
Looking in her eyes something in my heart said save it
Here we go again, another awkward conversation
Cupid's secret is love starts before you meet it [3x]
***NOTE: Neither I nor The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints encourage, permit, or condone using pornography for any reason. (See “Pornography”, April 2005)
In this song, he’s talking to his current wife. This is a powerful song. And here are the reasons why it touches me every time I hear it:
Courage: How many pop songs express the sanctity of chastity and sex within marriage? I can’t think of one but I can think of dozens that condone and promote sex outside of marriage. It’s arguable whether Andy Grammer could have published this song successfully if he were just starting out as a professional music artist. But now that he has a respectable following and is touring widely, he has the influence to be bold about his values. Men like him, especially famous men, are rare. People called him a unicorn because outside of my Church, it does seem like they don’t exist. President Thomas S. Monson would have been proud to see him follow his counsel: “May we ever be courageous and prepared to stand for what we believe, and if we must stand alone in the process, may we do so courageously, strengthened by the knowledge that in reality we are never alone when we stand with our Father in Heaven.” (“Dare to Stand Alone”, October 2011)
Sanctity of Sex: Keeping the Law of Chastity is HARD, even for us Mormons who try to keep an eternal view as motivation to keep our covenants and save sex for our spouse only. In somewhat vague and obscured language (probably to shield children), Apostle Boyd K. Packer stated, “Participation in the mating process offers an experience like nothing else in life. When entered into worthily, it combines the most exquisite and exalted physical, emotional, and spiritual feelings associated with the word love. ...The only legitimate employment of the powers of procreation is between husband and wife who have been legally and lawfully married.” (“The Fountain of Life”). In other words, sex is not off limits outside of marriage because it’s bad. Sex is preserved for marriage because it is so good and special. I believe it was the Light of Christ that was the something in [his] heart that said save it.
Patience: Patience is not a passive thing. It takes alot of mental energy and self-discipline to hold out for something as Andy Grammer did. And I believe he did because he knew it would be worth it, that it would be so much more special because he worked and waited for it and now shares it exclusively with his wife. Apostle Jeffrey R. Holland said, “In matters of human intimacy, you must wait! You must wait until you can give everything, and you cannot give everything until you are legally and lawfully married.” (“Personal Purity”, October 1998).
I’m so grateful for good music. Enjoy the rest of his album :)
