In Defense of Men

There's been a disturbing trend for some years now - Man Bashing. It was a controversial new bestseller, The End of Men, I saw in an airport bookstore a month ago that first got my mind on the subject. Then I learned that it's just one in a slew of recent books that describe the downward trends for men in modern society, i.e. Why There Are No Good Men Left, The Demise of Guys, The Decline of Men, Why Boys Fail, and Manning Up. The success, maturation, and happiness of men are being hindered in every direction - educationally, professionally, socially, emotionally...

A couple examples from The End of Men:

"For every two men who will receive a BA this year...three women will do the same. Of the fifteen job categories projected to grow the most in the United States over the next decade, twelve are occupied primarily by women."

The Demise of Guys describes a very real trend, even amongst LDS boys:

"An addiction to video games and online porn have created a generation of shy, socially awkward, emotionally removed, and risk-adverse young men who are unable (and unwilling) to navigate the complexities and risks inherent to real-life relationships, school, and employment."

An uncomfortable summary of the plight from Manning Up:

"Traditional roles of family man and provider have been turned upside down as...men...find themselves lost in a world where women make more money, are more educated, and are less likely to want to settle down and build a family."

Other gender gaps:

- Boys are falling farther and farther behind girls in school (see article)
- Women are out-earning men in graduate degrees (see article)
- Men are more susceptible to depression in our sagging economy (see article)

I consider myself a strong and independent woman; an ex-boyfriend even called me a feminist. But "feminist" in the dictionary is defined as "advocating social, political, legal, and economic rights for women equal to those of men", not exceedingly surpassing them. I'm grateful to live in a time and place where I can speak my mind, worship as I please, vote, run for office (no ambitions there), get an education, marry who I want, and work and live where I want...yep, women are doing pretty good right now. But men, as reports show, are not faring as well.

I'm not the only one who's troubled. Prophets and apostles are highly concerned about the declining respect and support of men and their roles:

"Men are portrayed as incompetent, immature, or self-absorbed. This cultural emasculation of males is having a damaging effect." ("Brethren, We Have Work To Do", D. Todd Christofferson)

There have been other recent Church addresses to buoy males up such as "Counsel to Young Men", "Be Your Best Self", "Let Us Be Men", "A Royal Priesthood", and practically every other talk during the Priesthood Session in General Conference.

Men and women are very different; both are imperfect and "come short of the glory of God" (Romans 3:23). I rejoice in my womanhood and future motherhood, but I can't fulfill my potential without good and worthy men in my life. God made us to complement and be perfected together (1 Corinthians 11:11, D&C 131:1-4). We (women and society in general) not only want strong men, we NEED them to fulfill the most vital and essential roles in life:

HUSBANDS: We need good men to love and trust; to work and play with; to share all our hopes, triumphs, sorrows, and trials with. We need worthy men to attend the temple with. We need spouses we can serve with. In sickness and health, poverty or wealth...we need good men to progress with in this life and through eternity.

FATHERS: We need good men to help teach, train, love, and discipline our children. We need good male role models to show our children that they will be more happy and fulfilled if they are honest, good, and hardworking than if they give in to temptations and take the easy road. We need fathers who will provide, preside, and protect our homes and families (see "The Family: A Proclamation to the World").

PRIESTHOOD HOLDERS: We need good men of God to administer the saving ordinances of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. We need worthy men to stand for truth, preach the gospel, administer the sacrament, heal the sick, bless babies, pronounce patriarchal blessings, baptize and confer the gift of the Holy Ghost, and seal families in the temple.

We need to support and empower all boys and men to be strong, confident, kind, honest, capable, smart, and honorable. This is a difficult and multi-faceted challenge, but women can be especially helpful by doing what we do best:

Teach and Nurture our brothers, sons, nephews, and cousins to study hard, develop their gifts/talents and social skills, and find healthy recreation.

Influence and Encourage our husbands, friends, coworkers, and classmates by leading by example in kindness, compassion, honesty, fairness, forgiveness, and service.

Praise and Appreciate our fathers, uncles, grandfathers, sons, and boyfriends when they have academic or professional success, uphold integrity, sacrifice for others, magnify their Priesthood, and express their love.

Ultimately, we should embrace the Savior's counsel to have faith, hope, and charity in all things (Moroni 7:42-47). We are all children of God and should help each other achieve our glorious, divine, and infinite potential.