"Hitch" - Be Yourself, and Be Like Jesus

After years of hearing people quote Hitch and then second-handedly misquoting it, I finally watched it for myself.

I only did because I was more motivated to participate in one of DC's most endearing summer traditions...outdoor movies! This was actually our Family Home Evening (FHE) activity for the week, advertised as "professional dating advice" by our FHE parents because (apparently) we YSAs (young SINGLE adults) need it.

Super concise synopsis: Will Smith plays a very successful "date doctor" who finds out that his own principles/techniques in dating are not working for himself and that one of his most seemingly needy clients did not need any of his advice to win the girl of his dreams.

I really liked the moral of this story - be yourself and adapt to each situation and person instead of sticking to a set of hard rules. Maybe it's because I tend to over-rely on principles of human behavior (because, like Hitch, they have almost always worked for me in the past). But as my friend, Kyle, has helped me understand, each human being is too deeply complex and ever-changing to pin down to any category or generalization.

Before I became educated on the rules of the dating game, I got really burned. Instead of letting guys do nice things like carry things for me, I'd insist on lugging it myself to prove that I was physically fit and independent. Instead of waiting patiently for a guy to make a move, I'd take the initiative on phone calls and making plans. (Guys, don't tell me you don't like the chase) So I did some reading and set some parameters for myself, which I've followed more or less. It has helped me date some great guys and develop wonderful relationships, but my last name is still Flores. Ha!

I know I know, alot of it is timing and the agency of others. The Lord's timing is always better than mine and I'm willing to wait for my Prince Charming, the guy who will see and appreciate me for all that I am. But watching Hitch has made me think about what I could do about my part in this whole process.

The movie closes with a humbled Hitch saying: "Basic principles...there are none."

MMmm pretty sure there ARE some basic principles, but they are too obvious to count -

- Don't date anyone you feel physically threatened by
- Don't date someone just for their money
- Relationships are two-way streets. Don't always wait to be acted upon, and don't always be the one initiating
- Don't date anyone who disrespects or condescends you
- etc.

I guess the biggest lesson I learned from this movie is to Be Myself, and I'm really trying to be the best daughter of God I can be. Allegra Cole (the beautiful heiress) found all of Albert Brennaman's (Hitch's awkward client) idiosyncracies "adorable", the same quirks that Hitch tried to beat out of him.

It turned out that the exact same habits and behaviors that Hitch told him NOT to do were the exact things that made Allegra love him. Too good to be true, right? But there's some truth in it.

Allow me to quote D&C 88:40, one of my favorite dating scripture verses:

"For intelligence cleaveth unto intelligence; wisdom receiveth wisdom; truth embraceth truth; virtue loveth virtue; light cleaveth unto light; mercy hath compassion on mercy and claimeth her own..."

Brother Bott, BYU's most popular Missionary Preparation teacher, spoke repeatedly and adamantly about the truth of this scripture in my class last summer. He also quoted President David O. McKay, who said that we each radiate various degrees of light (I'm paraphrasing). And since the scriptures say likes attract (contrary to the world's adage that "opposites attract"), it's just a matter of time before we attract the kind of person that we are. Thus, the motivation to be the kind of person we want to marry.

Following the prophets' counsel to interpret scriptures for ourselves but avoiding all heretical intentions, I'd like to think that goofiness cleaveth unto goofiness; openness receiveth openness; giddiness embraceth giddiness; ambition loveth ambition, optimism cleaveth unto optimism...or something like that. I've got plenty of idiosyncracies of my own. It's a miracle that two people's quirks can match up enough that they'll commit to each other for all of eternity. But that's the kind of marriage I want, in which case I should be myself, but mostly strive to be like Jesus.

3 Nephi 12:48 "Therefore I would that ye should be perfect even as I, or your Father who is in heaven is perfect."

He was the personification of charity, which is perfect love, the only kind of love that an eternal marriage can be built on.